When Panic Sets In….

This is the remains of when a crazed woman, over 50, in her jammies, at 10 o’clock at night,with two very stinky dogs,  gets stuck in the mudroom/laundry room.  It was getting below zero…temp wise…so went out to let the dogs in.  I always shut the door into the house so I don’t have to coax them out.  After the normal hub bub and good night loves I turned around to go in the house.  OMG….the door knob didn’t work.  We had had trouble earlier in the day, but did I think about that….oh, no.  So I flicked the light on.  Ok…the screws for the door knob on on this side, so will just take the door knob off….there are a few tools under the bathroom sink that is out there.  Piece of cake….not so much.  When I unscrewed the knob and the part that turns the latch promptly fell out….on the otherside of the door.   Leaving me with the latch still firmly embedded on the door jam and the useless knob in my hand.  So……ok, I can get the latch to release by pushing in the right spot with the screw driver and just pulling the door open.  With a little pressure and I mean very little…snap the latch breaks.  At least now the mystery to why the door wasn’t working earlier in the day is solved.  After pushing this and that to no avail, I began to panic.  I could here the ending theme for Hawaii Five O…damn…missed the end and it was good.  2 1/2 hours at least till my Honey got home from work.  OK…think Toni think.  I know the front door is locked and so is the French door onto the back deck.  Well, the hinge pins are on this side too.  If I just get them out, maybe the door would just fall out.  It always does when you are painting.  Usually falls out on your head.  Damn…no hammer in the house, so out the back door to the shop I go.  (this is an important fact..please remember it)    With hammer and straight screwdriver in hand (right tools for the job, Toni) I remove the hinge pins.  The door stubbornly stands in place.  No amount of pushing pulling or prying will budge it.  Back to the latch side.  Push on every thing movable in the cheap thing…well after all it broke after 14 years…gotta be cheap.  Pry at the latch by the striker plate nothing, but to put pry marks in the door.  Well, now what??  Maybe if I take off the frame I can get in there and do some good.  More prying.  Off comes the side frame, along with the top frame which after a few coats of paint is not so conveniently stuck together.  Thats not going to work..no way to get to the latch with out major demolition.  Back to the latch….maybe it need a smaller screwdriver to find some hidden  lever or button or whatever makes it work.  Push..push….push.  Suddenly something new moves.  Very carefully I pull on it and hooray, it opens.  Then just as suddenly the door falls on my head.  Oh, yes the hinge pins are still out.  I prop the door up, so the stinky dogs can’t come in and rush into the kitchen and grab my very warm beer  (it was only my second, so no remarks on that thank you very much) and begin to calm down.  Then I start to giggle and then move on to a full blown laugh.

There on the key rack by the back door, hang my car keys.  On my key ring is a key that would unlock any door on this house.  All I would have had to do is walk around and unlock the front door.

I hung the door back on its hinges and banged the trim back up so it wasn’t flapping and went to bed.  The next morning my Honey got up…after getting home at 3:30….glad I didn’t wait for him…and his first words…..”ya wanna tell me about the door”.  I started laughing and relayed the story.  “Glad you think its so funny…You destroyed the door”.   Well, wisely I kept my mouth shut thinking….put the trim back up, a new handle (needed one of those anyway) and paint the pry marks on the door (Lord knows you can’t break into the house that way) and it will be fine.  Then was not a good time to remind him that HIS dog had chewed some holes in the drywall out there when she was a puppy.

I think I feel some fixin up coming on this Spring.



2 Responses to “When Panic Sets In….”

  1. Donnella Says:

    ROLMFAO!!!!!!!!! That poor door. I would of loved to be able to read the dogs minds while you were doing this.

    LOLA: “She has OFFICALLY gone completely insane”

    ROSCOE: “And to think I adopted this family…WTF was I thinking?”

  2. Shoy Nelson Says:

    I just got the good news you gals are coming to visit!!! I am already planning what to cook…but will change my mind HOW MANY TIMES before you actually get here? (I know I can’t count that high..)
    This story of you locking yourself out prompted me to hide a duplicate key outside. Never a bad idea.
    Can’t wait to see you both

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